Respect of Marriage and the Family

This has been something ongoing for a while now, and it has me a bit disgruntled.

It seems as though some of my married friends have an attitude that they are better, because they have not gone through the same financial and employment struggles that my husband and I have experienced, and they do not have children yet.

It also seems as though some of our single friends think that they are better off because they do not have the same responsibilities of a spouse and parent, and don't really intend to at any point in their lifetime. Or, at least, not having to deal with an infant/toddler.

Why this sudden slip in mentality from those who proclaim to be Christians? There is nothing wrong with being a parent, and having the responsibilities that come with it. I love be a wife and mother! Are there days which are very long and difficult, especially working outside of the home? Absolutely! But would I trade those experiences in order to be going about my life only for my own purpose? No.My husband and I have faced many trials since moving here just over two years ago, and we will continue to have different struggles, because life is not meant to be easy. But the struggles and trials we experience are nothing compared to the joy of enduring them together, and seeing our little girl grow up. This little girl...she is amazing. She loves to dance when there is music, sing in the car, "read along" with her books, and just be a happy girl...even when teething!

I may not be able to pick up and go at the drop of a hat, and I do discuss plans with my husband before making arrangements, but that does not mean that someone should pity my life choices. I want to spend time with my little family after a long day/week of work. It is not a chore for me to snuggle with my daughter, and have dinner with my husband. It is a JOY! I discuss plans with my husband before making arrangements, not because he is over-controlling, but because we are ONE. Maybe he had a surprise planned. I certainly would not want to ruin something like that over the selfishness of staying out all night. And maybe I'm just too tired to do something after work.

The attitude that has been experienced, is almost as though individuals are trying to make me feel guilt over my life choices. As my pastor has said many times lately during his sermon series on grace, "it's not the church's job to make you feel guilty."

How dare someone try to make me feel guilt because we have different life choices and dreams, and so help me if they try to say falsehoods against my family. I love my family, and will do anything for them. If someone is going to be insulting and disrespectful, they can take that attitude somewhere else, because I have enough drama without their contributions.

Workplace Stigma

No, this isn't about stigma relating to mental illnesses, or the stigma that exists between men and women in the workplace (both of those are the top Google search results on the topic). Instead, this is about something that hits very close to home for me...

I was raised in a Christian home, went to church every Sunday, participated in the weekend/weeknight events, and made a lot of great friends through that experience. I heard many sermons on the Salt and Light (Matthew 5), and being an example in our daily lives - including the workplace. As a child, I thought, "Oh, ok, so just like us kids should be examples is school and extra-curricular activities. Peer pressure shouldn't be the end all, be all of the situation. We should stand up for ourselves," and similar thoughts. Now having experience as a Christian in the workplace, I wonder if this is what all the adults felt like on those Sunday mornings.

Am I the only on who sees a stigma when it comes to Christianity in the workplace? Am I the only one who notices that many professing Christians are guilty of treating individuals the worst? Or that the work ethic is almost non-existent? I do not find joy in these realizations. If anything, it pains me.

A stigma which places everyone who claims/professes to be Christian, is being implemented imitated by those who are (primarily) considered loud and obnoxious, lazy, or pompous. And it makes me sick, because I know that there are many Christians, in many work environments, who are not any of those descriptions!

Being a good Christian example in the workplace does not mean being a doormat, or being the whistle blower. To me, it means being compassionate. Don't want around with a sense of indignation, condemnation, or pomposity (yes, it is a word).

After all, Christ did not come to condemn the world, but to save it (John 3), and we are commanded to love one another (John 13).

Experience Can Go a Long Way

Personal Opinion: If someone is going to be in a supervisory position, they first need to know and understand what it is like to be the one who is supervised. Learn from those experiences - what works, what doesn't work, what would they like to see in a supervisor, and what would they not want to see? Then, develop the good, and work to eliminate the bad. You will gain the respect of those you supervise when you can identify with and understand their struggles, not when you are ignorant of what the "little people" experience.

I desire to hold a supervisory position someday, and in the mean time, I take every opportunity to learn from my current experience. Whether it is the lessons I learned from working in a grocery store at the age of 15, working in a gymnastics center and running child birthday parties, working in a restaurant as a hostess and carry-out girl, or working in human resources... everything is a learning experience, and goodness knows I have learned a lot with my (almost) 10 years experience in the workforce. Not all of it has been pretty, but it has certainly been...an experience.

It Happens

My precious daughter has fallen asleep, and I just successfully moved her to the crib, which means that I have a few moments alone with my thoughts before the love of my life returns from the fire station. Yup, I married a fire fighter, and I am so proud of him!

Lots of thoughts have been rolling around my head lately, and I need to divulge into some of them, though there is no guarantee of them coming out clearly this late at night. Dang, I just called 9:30pm late...yup, I'm definitely a mom, and definitely have an active daughter!

Over the past few years, I have observed a growing attitude of entitlement and pomposity (yes, it is a word, look it up) among Christians...and it's exhausting.

I know that Christians are told to be bold in their faith, and make disciples, and some people are naturally wired to be bold and outspoken - boldly talking and acting as though they are going to call down fire and brimstone. However, I think that the life of doing justly, loving mercy, and walking humbly...has been lost. Sadly, especially for those who may not be so extroverted or outspoken.

Too many times, there are stories of Christians starting protests or riots (Westboro Baptist Church, anyone), and not enough stories and testimonies of Christians who have the heart of Mother Theresa. She dedicated years of her life to ministering and reaching out to others of different lifestyles and circumstances. I realize that a large part of anything found on the internet is in part to media bias, one way or another, but what about the real-life encounters that we all face in one way or another... For example, I know individuals who stopped eating at Chick-fil-A (CFA) during the Dan Cathy controversy. I also know individuals who adamantly implored Christians to bring all their business to the local chain. At the same time, the very same people who practically bowed down and worshiped CFA, have also brought mass amount of attention to the comments of the CEO of Starbucks on those who support traditional marriage..."we don't want your business."

1. That is not actually what was said. The CEO was talking to shareholders, and said that if they thought a larger return could be found in a different company, than they can take sell the Starbucks shares and buy from another company.

2. Boycotting a company is not really going to hurt the company - people will always buy coffee, either a specialty drink, the bags of coffee, or the k-cups. It happens.

3. If the motivation behind a company boycott is to "raise awareness of an issue," let me raise some awareness of another issue: the employees who work for the company will be hurt LONG before the company itself.

If an individual store drops in sales, the employees hours are going to be reduced, and maybe even the staffing requirements. I have often picked up hours at the Starbucks location, and know from personal experience what it is like when hours drop...the paycheck drops. It happens. Starbucks employees are humans, too - they have bills to pay, groceries to buy, and all the same responsibilities of any other individual. I just have to wonder...how many of the boycott promoters take this into consideration when negatively promoting a business? Do I agree with everything that every company stands for? Uh...no. But do I seek out ways to hurt the company and, in the process, end up hurting the individuals who work there? No.

Am I going to have different opinions from others? Yes.

Am I going to agree with every CEO of every major company that ever existed? No.

Do I understand that the employees of those companies are depending on a paycheck to meet basic human needs, whether or not they agree with their own CEO? Absolutely!

Basically, the point of all this is... it's fine and dandy to have intellectual conversations about differing opinions, but don't put the employees in jeopardy because you don't like the employer. So they have a different opinion than you, just like many will probably have a different opinion than what I am voicing here. Guess what - It happens.